Today, I Signed My First Publishing Deal

Seven Words I've Always Wanted to Say

Today, I signed my first publishing deal.

I have wanted to say those seven words for what feels like all my life.

Growing up, I never felt like I was *that good* at anything. And the things I enjoyed doing that were productive outlets whether it was playing the drums, drawing, or even writing, I never felt like I was good enough. Typical for artists, I hear. This wasn’t for lack of encouragement from family or friends but those two thieves — comparison and low self-esteem — are persistent naggers that like to undercut me at every turn. Even now the inner voice is whispering, “Nandor, try not to be so proud of yourself. It’s unbecoming of you. Anything could happen.” But I am proud. I’m even more grateful and dare I say relieved because I’ve worked so hard and sacrificed so much to get here, to this moment, to right now, to today, to say those seven words.

So, leave me alone you two. This only happens once.

I didn’t make it here alone. Though my craft is honed in isolation, the motivation to retreat from this world and bury myself in another doesn’t materialize without the aid of outside parties. Without my family, partner, friends, and supporters (most likely one of you if you’re reading this), I don’t know where I’d be. Thank you all. Thanks to Mrs. Thompson from my one and only English college class who kept telling me my first drafts were, in fact, final drafts. Thank you to anyone who has given me a chance and a voice to share my stories. Thank you to all my peers and professionals who gave me the time of day and lent me advice when I felt directionless; you absolutely know who you are. Thank you to those writers who inspired me to become a writer and who inspire me to stay a writer. Thank you to my gifted collaborators. Above all, thank you to my backers and customers. Today doesn’t happen if not for you. Every sale is a word of encouragement and every word of encouragement pushes back the perils of looming self-doubt. Thank you so much for reading.

Finally, thank you to my newfound publisher for choosing me. This original graphic novel is my best work — intimate, raw, and unforgiving — and will undoubtedly turn some heads. Time to get locked in. Seriously.

I used to tell myself when I was a teenager that I’d publish my first book by 20 and while I made it happen thanks to the opportunity crowdfunding provided, I’d say getting picked up by a publisher at 28 isn’t too shabby.

After all, I owe it to that kid chasing a dream.

A dream to speak.

More so, a dream to be heard.

— Nandor Fox Shaffer